F*** Jeff Hostetler

Dear Pregnant Friends...

I promise to be the best non-pregnant friend that I can be to you during and after your pregnancy.

I promise that I won't cuss in front of you before or after the baby is born if you don't want me too.

I promise to have dinner parties with games and I won't serve alcohol because I know you can't have any right now.

I promise to keep my non-pregnancy behavior that could be considered damaging or stressful for baking baby to a minimum when I am in your presence.

I promise to buy you stuff for the baby and even for you because the parents need to get some presents that don't have to do with the baby to keep their sanity.

I promise to love you guys as much as I always have.

I promise to back off if you need space.

I promise to be happy for you with your new found pregnancy/parent friends.

I promise to be very sad if you decide that we can't be friends anymore, because I really do love you, but if you think it would be best, then I'll just have to accept it and move on.

I promise to be accepting and understanding to whatever decisions you make or actions you take.

I'm aware that I can be one of those "unique" friends that can be hard to deal with and probably needs some tact. Please believe me that I'm a good soul. Please believe that I want to babysit and won't corrupt your child. Please remember that I would bend over backwards for you.

All this is said with love.