F*** Jeff Hostetler

Jerry Orbach, RIP

The good ones go too soon.

Godspeed, Lenny.

Help Out

A Small Victory has a great list of ways to help out those that have been affected by the Tidal Wave. I suggest you go there and donate some moo-lah to help. I did.

What??

I was just on a website I frequent and there are many people there that think Event Horizon is scary.

Nothing on the internet is true.

OMFG

My brain has stopped working. Must consume egg nog.

No Thanks Dean

Merry New Year!

Please be forgiving my enlish which stinks! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

As I sit here in the studio with my six pack of Beck's Dark on Christmas, I'm trying to think of good Christmas movies (this includes movies that are set around Christmas). Gone with the Wind is on TNT now, which I'm starting to figure out is a pretty darn good movie, once you get past the campy acting of the 40's. Anyway here is a tentaive top eleven. This, like all my lists, are available for revision.
11)Die Hard 1 and 2 (how could I forget these!)
10)Trading Places.
9)Jack Frost (I can see your house from hereeeeee!)
8)Miracle on 34th Street
7)Silent Night, Deadly Night (yeah, its cheesy)
6)Gremlins
5)A Christmas Story
4)National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
3)Its a Wonderful Life
2)A Christmas Carol w/George C. Scott
1)The Ref (Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hidin')

Honorable mentions: Badder Santa, A Holiday Inn, Ben Hur and Nestor the Long Eared Donkey

Can't forget Rudolph and the elf that wanted to be a dentist, can we?

Theory and Reality

In Theory on this snowy day

I would want to be curled up on the couch with my dog watching movies, drinking red wine and eating Indian food . Also not being bothered by parents/people/humanity.


In Reality on this snowy day

I'm at work. As soon as I leave, I have to go to the grocery then go home. My mother is at home, and she will of course have about 8 million jobs for me to do, including shoveling the driveway and walks. Plus the fact that my grandmothers caregivers are not coming in today, so I have to deal with a pissed off 93 year old.
Then I'll probably give the dog a bath. Then I'll probably have to clean up the basement/carpets/whatever else the mother can come up with.

So which would you rather be doing?

Kill The Cat

*Sigh* Why????

Barf

This guy claims to be a chef. I'm not so sure.

Present!

If anyone is looking to get me a Christmas Present, I'll take this, thank you very much.
I listened to "Big Eyeball in the Sky" and "Ignorance is Bliss". Can we say killer?? Les, Buckethead, Brain and Bernie Worrell. Wow.

AWWWWW!! HOW CUTE!!!

I swear, my holiday spirit has been revived by the Barney Cam.
PS- Watch "Barney Cam: Where in the Whitehouse is Miss Beazley". Carl Rove gets pelted with red Christmas Balls. AHHAHAHA!!

Hey Hipster!

I feel cooler for having linked this. No wait....I AM COOLER!!

Daily Dose of Irony

While being a full time care-giver for the past two days (and believe me, my grandmother and I barely made it out alive. Well, at least I barely made it out), I had the occasion to take my octaganerian relative to the mall. The mall is a pretty horrible yet very funny place around Christmas time. Here are soom of the scenes that made me smile, evily.


1) Red headed stepchild (and boy was he redheaded) going to the chinese buffet, loading his plate to the point where if he leaned his fat ass forward, he wouldn't even need a fork. However, this cultural maven decieded to show us all up. He ate his bourbon chicken, not with a fork, but with chopsticks. At the mall. Chopsticks that were given to him (along with his food) by a 6'3 black man wearing a santa hat and elf ears. That just screams celebration of Chinese culture, don't you think?

2) DJ Carpool and MC Primary School having their santa sweatered out mom scurry into the mall, leaving the confines of her warm mini-van to slip them some money so they can impress all the St. Matthews Mall Crips. Nothing is funny than seeing 13 year olds trying to gangsta lean by the Fashion Shop and having mom slip them some Christmas money. Oh Snap, their rep has been ruined! Quick, to the Foot Locker to oogle the lates Lebron James sneaker! That will redeem us with the eyes of our peeps! Pardon me while I claw my vagina out with a "mall chopstick" so that I am certain I never birth cretains like that.

3) While wheeling Granny out in the wheelchair, passing a car with a bumper sticker saying "Consume Less". At the mall. Right next to the Ani DeFranco sticker. Wow


Who says Americans can't do irony?

Jumpin' Jee-hova's Witness!

There's gold in them there hills! Seriously, when are these people going to give it up. I was on my way out the door to go back to work (looking quite thugish, but its colder than a witches tit and I'm going to the gym right after work, so I was sweat- suited out. GGGGGG-GeeUnit would be proud.) when the 'Hova's Witnesses showed up. Of course, Itsy dog starts barking and growling while I'm trying to get rid of them. Nothing is funnier than a thugged out twenty something trying to keep a six pound dog from killing members of a ridiculous cult. Who says nothing interesting happens in the east end? I'm reminded of a scene in a modern day masterpiece.

*Door Opens*
"Hello, have you accepted Jehova as your...."
*Door Slams*
"Well, fuck you. Come on, sistah. (mutters) Half dead mutha-fucka."

*Cue the Theme Music*

After seeing this picture, I may give up drinking water.
(cries and hides under the bed)

Thanks SA Forums

Nice

Hell, I feel like this and I work here.

RIP, Gone Too Soon

Dammit. Why the fuck does this crap have to happen? I really liked Pantera, and Dimebag was a really cool guy. I just know that some kooks are going to be out there spouting horse shit about violent music causing violence blah, blah, blah. NO! That has nothing to do with it. If it did, every member of ICP would have been 6 ft under by now. No, this was a case of random crazy dude shooting innocent people.

RIP, Dimebag. We will really miss you.

Screw You, Tom Bombadil

Bring out the coney's and taters, Mater Gamgees!

I always hated Tom Bombadil. I mean, look at this guy. Total Flamer.

Dance gay wood man! Dance!!

The Nuisance of NASCAR

I suppose that I have been taking a break from good ole politics, simply because it has been annoying the crap out of me. Plus the fact that I think the whole "lol-red-blue-state-lol" is funny in itself. However, there is a new addition to the conservative lexicon that bothers me to the point of head injury. NASCAR. Young and old conservatives have jumped on this bandwagon like a flamming bag of shit. Needless to say, I just don't get it.

How did I come to this conclusion, you may ask? Well, this morning, I was cruising the Sirius Satellite Radio site and was looking through the talk stations that were offered. I stumbled across a young host by the name of Ben Ferguson who has written a book, "Its My America, Too". In this tome, Mr. Ferguson donates an entire chapter to the wonders of NASCAR. I have noticed other authors/radio hosts have linked NASCAR fans with the heart and soul of conservative values. I have even heard some folks, (Ms. Ingrahm, I'm talking to you) say that if you DON'T like NASCAR, you are a liberal elite. Huh? Did I miss a memo? Listen, kids, I'm from the south (a red state even before the conventions) and I consider myself pretty conservative, but I DESPISE NASCAR AND THE PEOPLE THAT WATCH IT. Sorry, they annoy the ever living crap out of me. From driving in a circle to the morbid god-like status of Dale Earnheart (better known as "#3"), its just a waste of couch time. I won't say brain cells, because watching cars turn left is not mentally exciting. Hell, the crashes (which is one of the supposed reasons that people watch) aren't that great. If I wanted to see real crashes, I'd set up a lawn chair on the side of I-65 on a rainy day.

To make a long rant short, its OK NOT to like NASCAR. If you are a conservative, its OK to like cultural things that don't envolve beer. It doesn't make you light in the loafers, it just means that you are a diverse person, and "diverse" in this context is not a negative descriptor. Hell, this is just my damn opinion anyways.

Ben Stiller Should Be Slapped for "Dodgeball"

Slapped like a bitch. Throw in an extra one for giving Barbara Streisand work in "Meet the Fockers".
One another note, I like this..

*Screech of Frustration*

When the hell is this city going to get an Ikea?!?Must. Buy. Modern. Swedish. Furniture.
GGAAHH!!! Thank god they don't have a credit card, yet...



OMG, scary virtual tele-marketer girl. (click on customer service)

Ole Time Religion

Go get yours tonight, bitches.
I'll be there to worship.