F*** Jeff Hostetler

Pimpage

Chelsea's got a new blog.


Sweet.

New Zealand Animal Love

I love the wildlife of New Zealand. Kakapo's are one of my favorites (second only to the Kiwi). Look at dat cute wittle fuzzy-wuzzle.

I'm going to stop before I turn into a pile of goo..

In other animal news, fuck these guys.

I <3 Flannigans

I love the salads and the beer. What a wonderful combination. However, the fact that they WON'T be serving Hoegaarden any more is cause for much lamenting.

Don't stow the Hoe!

DeadBirds

Despite not getting much press, this was a pretty good little flick. Check it out, I liked it.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHORE!!!

Inspiration from the Rhino

My Top 10 Metal/Rock Albums

10. Rocket From the Crypt-"State of the Art is on Fire": This EP is about as Emo as I get. Heavy, punk with horns. Kind of like Voodoo Glow Skulls but better...

9. Mastodon-"Leviathan"-The first time I listened to this album, I hated it. The second time I liked it. The third time I thought it was brilliant.

8. AC/DC-"Jailbreak-1974"- With classics like "Can I Sit Next to You, Girl" and "Jailbreak" this is a good example of the bluesy side of AC/DC with Bon Scott.

7. Iron Maiden-"Number of the Beast"- Very Solid, Very Bruce-y, Very Awesome.

6. Clutch-"Elephant Riders"-Southern Stoner rock with very solid hooks and a live show that will make you want to drive to the next town to see them again.

5. Van Halen-"1984"- Hot for Teacher. Enough said.

4. Primus-"Sailing the Seas of Cheese"- The holy trinity of bizare funk.

I can't think of any more at the moment. I'll finish this list later.

Weird

I had a dream last night that I was in St. Cloud, Minnesota. For some reason, there was some sort of formal dance, but the river started to flood. No one thought much of it, until the hotel that we were staying at got flooded. I'm talking tsunmai type flooding in Minnesota. I had Itsy with me, which was bizarre. Plus the fact I had family living in a house that was completely swept away. They all lived, though, which is good, but strange. If you saw these waves, there would be no way that anyone could have survived. Thing is, they would just happen without much warning.

River tsunami's can't happen, can they?

Oh, PM Dawn's "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss of You" is a great song. Probably one of the only ones that I don't get made at when I hear a blatant sample.

Higher Education ain't Nothing But a Number

At the University of Louisville yesterday, a boot was put on my car in a pay by the minute parking lot. I had outstanding parking tickets (which I was going to pay, when I got the money). They said that if I didn't pay the over one hundred dollar amount, my car would be impounded. Keep in mind that all this is happening while my car is stuck in a pay parking lot. I dug into my don't-dig-into-this savings account, paid the fuckers and had the boot removed after an additional twenty minutes. Of course, I cursed out every single "mother fucker" in the room. University police were called to escort me to my car. I screamed at them as well.

"University Police? Are you going to put me in University Jail? Is there going to be a big mural of Rick Pitino and the Cardinal Bird on the wall? "

The cop laughed.

Never mind the fact that when I gave my ticket at the window, I had to pay eight dollars to park instead of 4.

Of course, the attendant said, "You should have bought the parking pass at the start of the semester."

"And how much is that, pray tell."

"One Hundered Dollars"

They were going to squeeze that money out of me anyway, I was just holding it.

I really wouldn't mind being treated like a number so much if I was actually learning something besides what douche bags professors of "higher learning" are. My paralegal class was great, but this art clown...

Speaking of "art clown" remember the really annoying student who was a clown that had testicular cancer and I felt really bad for hating him? He came to class in full costume, making all kinds of balloon shapes. It was all I could do to keep a straight face at his "Don't Let the Baby Eat the Balloon Button", the everything tie-dyed apparel and his stress at not being able to finish his animal balloons.

If I could get away with it, I would tell that guy exactly what I thought of him. It was in the art department, however. If I said ANYTHING negative about chode boy, I'd probably be called on a "hate crime".

Enough of my rambles.

If hating a clown is wrong, I don't want to be right..

Thunder Posting

Running this cluster f**k is not fun, 'specially when you are trying to fight off a wonderful Heffeweizen buzz.

Damm you fireworks!!! Me wants my wheat beer....

Gah!!

I was late to work again today. The second time in two weeks.
Not good. El Mike-o is probably going put yet another "demerit" in my file and talk to Jimboliena.
However, jamming your elbow and having to take two Tylenol PM's just so you can sleep without pain sucks too.

But they don't want to hear that.

I have to get "The Mike W*** Show" on the air! That is the most important thing...

(not really)

Never mind that buffoon boy comes into the studio yesterday and tries to tell me that he is going to be two hours late when he relieves me on Saturday night.
In the words of Will Smith..."AAAWWWW HELL NAWWW!"
I'll be working a 6 hour shift on the board. If your ass isn't there at 1 am, I'm leaving.

*fuck yo couch, nigga

A Comparison

Check out the cartoons eulogizing Pope John Paul and the new cartoons about Pope Benedict.

Interesting.

The Shortest Op-Ed piece on the Planet

William Bennett (yeah, this website is pretty slanted, but so is he, so it works out) really annoys me. That has nothing to do with the whole rap thing.
He is a simpleton who should have never been allowed to be in such an upfront role. He makes republicans look like Cuddly Roundheads.

I can't seem to find a list of ordinances and laws from Cromwell's protectorate. I know they banned pudding, which is on par with banning Snoop Dogg.

Adventures in Porter

If Raul would take a break from his "recovery" and step outside the realm of scurvy prevention for only a moment, I would recommend this lovely libation to him.

Heck, I would recommend this beer to anyone that would listen. Being a serial Belgian style drinker, I was wandering the asiels of Liquor Barn last night, feeling like a ship without a rudder. While I love my Hoegaarden, Leffe and other such beers, I was looking for something different. I was about to pick up a Heffe-Weissen when I stepped back and started to ponder. I had a HW just recently. I want something new! Against my better judgement, I asked a young lad who was wandering around "helping" customers to give me a suggestion. Without even looking and suggesting several things, he hands me a six pack of Grants Perfect Porter. "Just try it" says he. " It doesn't look like much but...."

"But I don't like dark beer.." says I.

"Just try it." says he, and walks off.

I was about to put it back when I had a thought. Just go ahead and try it. What do you have to lose besides a few bucks? Who knows, you might like it.

So I tried it.

And I loved it.

Now you try it. You'll love it.

PS- They serve this along with tons of other odd-ball brews at Uncle Pleasants. Cool, The Uncle isn't just for "kewl" bands and bar fights.

"The Little Stoners Got a Point"

Alan, you are starting to dress like a little old women with lots of cats. Either that or the lead singer of an emo band.
Sorry, but if you said "Yippy Ki-yea, muther fucker" in that, you'd get laughed at

Posting from a Crappy Ass Mac

Its old, its boxy, its blue.

I suppose I should thank the U of L art department for supplying me with such wonderful tools from which to create.
There is not right click on this mouse.

This machine was built for retards
I

What?

Dodd, is this a way of saying he got a bad haircut?
What, did he get highlights or something?

w00t!

NFL. Packers v. Bengals. October 31st.
I'll be there.
Cincinnati beware! Lepus, Pert, Raul and others are coming to town!!!

Subpar DVD Experience

So I rented the extended version of Dune last night. I had to stop it soon after the crash in the desert w/Paul and Jessica because the DVD kept stopping and skipping. Plus the fact that it had Portugese subtitles. I can see where that would be helpful in learning a foreign language. I learned a few words, of course now I have forgotten them, but I swear, if I heard them again, I would understand them.

Sheesh, that sentence was about terrible.

On another Dune related note, The fetus with the vagina for a mouth made me laugh, I had forgotten about him. Plus the fact that his people looked like Hellraiser extras.
Here is the eye-candy rundown
1. Kyle MacLachlan- Cute, even with his fluffy hair.
2. Francesca Annis- Wow, she is a hottie, Ralph Finnes is a lucky guy.
3. Duke Leto- Looked like a back up singer for Abba, wasn't really pleased with the casting.
4. Dean "Al" Stockwell- ummmm, thank God you got Quantum Leap
5. Patrick "The Male Cher" Stewart- That man looks exactly the same.
6. Sting- MMMMM, Red Haired Sting, MMMMM. Get me a spoon...
7. Sean Young- She is about gorgeous. Crazy, but gorgeous.

And look at that, she is from Louisville.

I'm going to try to fast forward to a part that isn't messed up, but I'm not going to get my hopes up...

The End is Near

The end is near. Today, I bought my first ugly, large, old lady purse. At Target, no less.

Maybe if I cover it with buttons, no one will notice.

*Sigh* I am chagrined....

Question

My grandmother and I got into an argument last night about being Jewish. I claimed that it was a religion and she claimed that it was a race of people.

OK, Internet, do your thing and enlighten me.

Shalom.

Watch It

If I don't cool it, I'm going to get fired. I HATE M**K FURKING W**D WITH TITANIC PROPORTIONS.

"Someone's got a case of the Mondays..."

I Hate my Job

Just wanted to remind you. I really, really, really, REALLY hate my job and the person I produce for.

On another note, "Showdog moms and dads" is the only show that will NOT bleep out "bitch" and "twat".

Now you know why I watch.

Greatest Recipe Site Ever

Making food w/pictures and internet fun!!

Nerd, Nerd, NERD

Check out this site. Its good stuff.
Cute

I Hate People

I would leave the country, but that wouldn't help.
Sometimes I just want to walk up to these people and smash them in the head with a brick. There is nothing up there that they would miss.

There are just somethings you don't fuck with and you DON'T fuck with cookie monster.

Art Pimp/Post

This guy does good stuff. Buy sumthing. If he would only draw to suit my dirty internet obsession, I would commisson a wall mural.

Naked.

On a bear rug.

I've said too much....

I also like this girl's stuff. This is an example of what I wanted to learn in an art class. Would a state sponsered university teach me techniques that I wanted?

We all know the answer to that.

There isn't any DIO fanart on here either. I'll not let my secret out that easily.
Eh, well, I guess its not THAT big of a secret.

I really thinks this looks a lot like the Pertinator. Just me.


I'm not posting any more today. Promise.

*Smirk*

DrunkGuy is funny
Sammy looks very papel in that shot, I must say.
OH! I remembered what I was going to post yesterday!
Its pretty cool, I think I'll get one...

Blogger is being weird

Sorry for the lack of updates. What really stinks is that yesterday I had a ton of stuff that I wanted to post/talk about. Of course, now I can't remember any of it so its not like it was earth shattering information. I think it had to do with someone drawing Jay and Silent Bob as Legolas and Gimli, complete w/braids. It was teh funny...

Hung out w/Mr. UPS and Mr. Heron and Ms. Terry last night at Flannigans. I love their salads, but my breath is still not loving the red onions (I love the taste of red onions, even though they really stick with you to remind you of their presence in your system. IE-YO BREAF BE RANK, DAWG! AWWWW HELL NAW!).

Mr. UPS and myself have discovered a WONDERFUL new beer. Orange Blossom Cream Ale. Upon opening the bottle, it smells like Orange Crush and taste like it, too. Needless to say, its a girl beer, but I'm a girl and I love it. I don't know what UPS's excuse is.

IT IS NOTHING LIKE ZIMA, YOU FREAKS! ITS BEER THAT TASTES LIKE A SODA! A REALLY GREAT SODA! NOTHING LIKE ZIMA!!

I Desire Entertainment

I desire fun tonight. Someone entertain me.

Gone FAR to soon

Godspeed, Mitch. Make heaven funny. Your stand-up was one of the last times I laughed til I cried. Mitch Hedberg, you will be missed.