Saturday, May 29, 2004
I got 99 Problems..
When protestors that really just don't like money and Dave Chapelle meet....
"I'm Rich, Bee-otch!!"
Friday, May 28, 2004
| |Trying to Find a Purpose for Research
I can just imagine some doctoral student at Cambridge just trying to come up with a funding excuse. I guess this is science news, but I'm not really sure how its relevent. It happened in 1783. 1783, people...
I Guess Smoking Is In The Green Book?
Yet another example of how Ghaddafi is getting a little to pimpish for his britches. Making smoking illegal, however, is out of the question...
Gah!
Yesterday Morning:
"Hey, do you mind working the 7-12 am shift on WHAS tonight? Its a really easy shift.."
"Ok sure, its a comp day for me. Whatever"
Then, mother nature thought it would be fun to recreate Twister, only without Van Halen.
Yeah, that was fun. I have never had more eight year old children from the South End call to tell me "..yeah it raining, and, and, its windy..." (think eight year old voice here).
WTF? Get your ass to the basement, ankle urchin!! Why the hell are you calling me??
Speaking of Van Halen, I heard their new song the other day. I can't believe it kicks ass, but it does. No matter how much eddie resembles a zombie, he can still play fucking guitar...
On the other hand, I did get Jay-Z's latest, The Black Album. My god, I can't get that song "Lucifer" out of my head...
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Scientologist Navy
See, they did have a navy. Those people are fucking scary and should be ignored with as much vigor as possible.
Awww Hell...
"The average cost of an engagement ring: $3,456"
Holy shit....
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
| |I Love T-Shirts
Raul posted this site and I LOVE IT!! I will pay money if someone buys this for Arru.
These are on my wishlist.
This, This and This.
Help Part 2
I have been wanting to get a new album for my driving/working out pleasure. I have narrowed it down between Kanye West(which is pronounced Kan-yea for the honkies) and Jay-Z. I finally heard "I got 99 Problems" today, which was a great song. I think Mr. Z's "Black Album" should be a purchase, but I also like all the singles from the new Kanye West album. "All Falls Down" and "Through the Wire" are "bangin', yo." I can only get one until the next paycheck and I cant decide. I wish that Jay-Z would come out with a greatest hits album. "Its a Hard Knock Life" and "H.O.V.A" are great songs. Actually, the songs he sampled are great...
Help
Quick. I have to talk Mike Ward into taking off Monday. Give me some suggestions.
Congrats!!
Congrats Tony!! It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Don't let the bullshit change who you are...
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Thank You Nature for you Killing Machines
O my god, if that picuture is real, its the biggest fucking bear I have ever seen in my life. If you are smart, YOU WILL NOT scroll down the page. There are some pretty nasty looking human remains, if they are real. Stick to the top of the page, please. Don't say I didn't warn you...
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Get Right Out of Town
My reality has been shattered with this news. Associated Press, you are on top of this story. It was my impression that the people of Cincy where on wonderful terms with law enforcement. This must be breaking news...
Friday, May 21, 2004
Fun with Fox News
Funny bars underneath stories on Fox News...
"Spain Withdrawls"
"Dissed Veterans"
"Bitting Croc" ( o for that one little letter...)
More to come.
When Zombies Write
This is why I love working where I work.
"Still, winter is usually a high point for the station, with basketball and lots of reports on winter weather, bad driving conditions and school closings.
"We didn't really have any (bad) winter weather or school closings," Carls said of this past winter. He acknowledges problems with the 9-noon slot. "It was soft, as we expected it would be because basically all the people who loved John (Ziegler) and didn't like Francene are already gone, and it takes a while to build a new audience." Cucinello's show ranked second with all listeners over 12 but ninth with those 25-54."
There you have it, folks. Radio ratings are all about sports and the weather. As far as building an audience is concerened, I doubt that she'll stay that long, and thats not me talking just because my "history" with said host. No, she just plain sucks.
The Latest Catchphrase
I need help in creating a new bumper sticker that has to do with keeping law enforcement out of my car when it come to my choice to wear a seatbelt. Duh, its smart to wear a seatbelt, but if I chose not to wear one, should I get a ticket? I don't think so, and I need to think of something pithy...
What I Have So Far
1. Click-it. Ticket. Stick it
2. Forced Saftey Belts=No Freedom
3. Civil Libertarians for Unsafe Driving
I got nothin..
Help me out!
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Wow, Leave it To The Germans
Who says there is to much sex about??
Germany is on a role today.
This
That
The Other
Chucky Should Have Used a Rubber. No wait, he's made of...
Why?? Speaking of that, I need to get my theater "Bride of Chucky" poster framed. I also want a nice big Hellboy poster framed. More things to add to my every expanding To Do list.
Chucky's kid looks like Sloth...
"Deliver Us Some Evil"--ROTFLMAO!!!!!
The Gas Thing
Scurvy mentioned this story on his site a few days ago, but I was wondering about what kind of damage this could do. I didn't realize that Speedway carried the tainted gas. What can this stuff do to your car? Is my gastank in danger of exploding?
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Flapjacks
I suddenly want pancakes. I wonder why?
(Probably not work safe, but what the hell. Click on it!)
Dammit!
Screw the airport screeners! How the fuck can you fail a personality test?? TELL ME!!! I'm so fucking depressed about this I can't even see. I'm going to be stuck in crap jobs for the rest of my life. Lord love a duck, I should just get on welfare and start squirting out bastards. All I've ever wanted to do is work in the government. It looks as though that will never happen now. Am I that obtuse??
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
"I Step On Something, Feels Like Fortune Cookie..."
That No Fortune Cookie!!"
Last night I took my yorkie out in the back yard to use the bathroom. I was, of course, wearing my favorite Reef Flipflops. We went into the back of the yard where she ususally goes, and I heard thhis strange rustling. It was all over the place, and itsy dog was none too happy. I went back inside and got my handi-dandi flashlight. I walked to the back of the yard and there were sicadas everywhere! On the grass, coming out of the ground, on the trees. I stopped to closley examine one that had just come out of its shell and was snowy white. When I shone the light on my feet, however, there were at least six crawling on me looking for a molting ground. I kicked my feet, and my reef's went flying into the air. Itsy and I hopped our way cursing and screaming back into the house. I must have killed ten or twelve in that little adventure. It was definately a Temple of Doom moment...
"Hold On To Your Potatos!!"
Monday, May 17, 2004
| |Number One in Da Hood, G
I love ATHF. Its my favorite Adult Swim Cartoon, next to Family Guy.
I am Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Voices From the Black Pit of Doom
Am email I just received...
What is this I hear? You are working on MW's show??!!! What
happened
with F??
You should have listened to me that day at the coffee shop when I told
you it
was in your interest to support me!
JZ
GAAAHHHH!!! What the fuck is the weather like on your planet, dude? What is this, me against giant corporate oligarch? I've been on my share of crosses in my life, buddy, and next time I decide to get nailed to one, its going to be for something I actually believe in/care about. I'm so done with radio and all the people that make up its supposed "talent". Law school, here I come...
Friday, May 14, 2004
Covers
I was thinking last night of some of my favorite cover songs.
Cars-Fear Factory
Grease Soundtrack- Less Than Jake
Come On Eileen- Save Ferris
Take On Me- Reel Big Fish
Hungry Like The Wolf- Reel Big Fish
Scissorman- Primus
You Really Got Me- Van Halen
The Thing That Should Not Be- Primus
Bitches Brew- NoMeansNo
I would like to compile a list for download, any suggestions would be appreciated.
Also that new damned Britney Spears song is in my head and won't leave. I may have to evict it with hours of GWAR!!!
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Lou-hoo-ser-her
Very interesting article. Now I just need to predict who is going to be the biggest loser for this year. Leave it to an economist, as I always say (for the first time)...
This (of course) came to us from Dodd Rock...
LMAO!!
Wow, I think this project should move forward. Who wants to hit Mardi Gras next year?
Via Silflayhraka
Don't You Do It!!
I mean it. Don't politicize a perfectly good movie (sequals excluded) for your own stupid purposes. Do you realize how much money the RNC will bring to NYC? Since most of the protestors work in the food industry anyways (jibe at their expense, and I DON'T apologize), you would think that they would WANT the RNC around. O wait, I forgot. CAPITALISM IS EVIL!! MONEY IS BAD!!!
"HORRORS, I'VE RECEIVED A TIP! IN YOUR FACE MONEY-WHORING DOG-PIG-RIGHT-WING NAZI-FURRY-PEDO FANBOY!! RARARARAR!!"
I think I about summed it up.
What the hell does this poster mean??
Wow
This totally rules.
The Shining in 30 Seconds redone by cartoon bunnies...
Awesome..
Also check out "The Exorcist in 30 Seconds redone by cartoon bunnies.
Thanks Dodd and Mr.Quick
Be sure to turn up your speakers...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I Found This Funny
The internet, describing male bonding.
Hey mang, whutchoo doin 2nite?"
"GANG RAPIN SOM SKANK- LEZ CHILL WIF A SPLIFF N GET OUR RAPE ON LOL!!"
Wonderful...
News and Views
Here is some reaction from Europe and the Middle East on the beheadding of Berg...
Via SomethingAwful Forums.
Big Ass Fly
There is an OMG-Eric-Stolz type fly in the production room I am currently occupying. Big fucker.
Also the Scurvy/ Rhino Hostetler debate has made my day. Thanks boys...
I need to get that picture.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Left Behind
Don't you just hate being left out. I got the mass email a few weeks ago about my "best friends" wedding. Cool, I thought, and sent the congrats email, expecting to get a response about fittings for brides maid dresses and registration and parties, etc. It never came. I did get an email from my other "best friend" who is arranging the bachlorette party in Chicago where she lives. We chatted on the phone for a while and it came up about the wedding party.
Sara is the maid of honor.
I was not even considered as a brides maid.
I got confirmation of this while having a chat with the brides parents. A few people from college, two from Louisville, and one from Texas, but I wasn't considered.
I don't know that for a fact that I wasn't considered, but for all I know that is how it happened. I'm so ashamed that this hurts as much as it does. I wouldn't even hesitate when picking who was going to be in my wedding party. They both would be, no questions asked. No questions asked until now, that is. Why the hell am I so upset about this? I always considered her to be my best friend. We haven't talked much in the past few years, but now she is acting like I'm a to quote her "...blast from the past".
I would have never said that to her. I suppose that since I'm so buried in the past that I should be greatful to even be invited to the bachlorette party and the wedding.
The only problem is I have carried her friendship with me until today. I considered her a current friend. Now, since she has left me behind, I suppose I have to accept the fact that I'm not that important to her. I wish she would have told me, I could have mourned our friendship long ago, but I kept holding on to it. Its really my own fault. I should be greatful, I don't have to wear dumb dresses and show up at rehersals, but this really hurts. I don't have many female friends anymore, in fact, she was one of the last. I guess its time to pick up the pieces and make some new friends. Shit, I can even hear it in her voice. Its over. Done.
A Curse Word Filled Rant
Ok, guys. Here is a little crash course in torutre.
This is torture.
This is not
Christ on a Cracker I'm so sick of all this crap. The prisoners aren't missing fucking limbs, bleeding or dead. That is torture, what we have seen is embarrasment. Guys naked, getting barked at by dogs. Thats not torture, thats a shower at my house.
;)
Fucking hell, people. Its not that big of a deal. Seriously, I've seen shit on this very internet that makes my stomach jump out of my mouth and splatter itself all over my monitor and some of you all are freaking out over this?? I've seen people dress up in fur suits and have sex with each other. Are some of you really comparing this to Marquis De Sade. De Sade shoved nailes up his ass. The prisoners asses look a-ok to me.
Last Seen- Headed Towards Shively
WEEE-HAAAW!! OFF-ROADIN!!God, I love Kentucky*
*-This was not taken in KY, but it could have been...
Cover Girl!!
I received my favorite mag yesterday in the mail and guess what? My house was on the cover, although it really didn't look much like my neighborhood.
In said magazine, there was a short article by Julian Sanchez on blogs and fundraising. It was an interesting little snippet, and it included a fact that Ben Chandler (D) of KY raised significant funds on a democratically run blog for his run for governor. Of course, Sanchez mentioned Dean and others, but made the statement to the effect of conservatives haven't gotten on the blog bandwagon as far as fundraising goes. With all the conservative blogs out there, I'm sure that someone is doing it. Sanchez also went on to plug The Daily Kos as a big blog fundraiser for the Dems. I'm not going to rehash TDK's recent remarks, lord knows that has been done enough by far better bloggers than myself (Sanchez mentions this in the article, BTW). However, I know for a fact that many of the heavy hitters (Instapundit, Hugh Hewitt, A Small Victory) have gone beyond the call of duty as far as money raising goes for various charities (mainly to help troops and their families). Now I know that Sanchez's article is strictly about "political fundraising", but most people in conservative camps have figured out that the Bush/Cheney 04 campaign has plenty money. All I'm saying is its sort of evident where priorities are as far as consevative/liberal blogs go, at least in who they raise money for.
Of course, this is just my own opinion, no where near based in any sort of fact. Just my observations.
Doing it Dean-o Style
I suppose all those crazy kids who hooked up on the Dean Campaign trail have found a new home to fulfill their internet yearnings. I do like the "Al Sharpton is My Homeboy" t-shirt, though...
Hey Church, check some of these lovelies...
Thanks Wonkette
Speaking of Bike Riding
I saw an ad for the new Schwinn Sting-Ray yesterday. Those things are cool. I think they are only making it for kids, though. I suppose I'll have to get one of those mountain/racing/i'm-a-real-vehicle-but-I-can't-heed-traffic-rules bikes. Either that or I'll check out what Target has on sale...
Actually, thats not bad for a bike. I might head over there today...
Giving Me Gold
I DON'T like the new Blogger one bit.
Rhino, please. You just keep setting them up and I keep knocking them down...
Monday, May 10, 2004
| |A Diety I Can Get..ahem..Behind
I'm sorry, did you just say
"Where's Jesus with a bullwhip when you need him?"
Can he wear leather chaps, too??
How I Did On The Whole Reading Thing
This looked interesting, so I gave it a whirl. Might as well be part of the cool blog survey-type-thing. I'm just a link in the chain, baby...
Beowulf (I had to read that post-modern piece of crap, Grendel.)
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice--(I even had to watch the movie. Hugh Grant is a foppish little imp who can burn in hell.)
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage
Dante - Inferno (and the rest of the Divine Comedy too)
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby- (I HATED this book)
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies (we had to sign a permission slip to read this book in middle school)
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
thorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter
Heller, Joseph - Catch 22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man--(KILL IT WITH FIRE!!)
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird--(My Favorite Book)
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick--(I read this when I was 8, no bullshit)
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye--(read this when I was 10, probably jaded me for life)
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein--(another favorite)
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden--(ZZZZZZ)
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Voltaire - Candide--( I played the overture, does that count?)
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son
Thats it. Although I read most of these books between the ages of 8-18, I'm currently working on Heroditus- The Histories. Not a bad list, but I'm shocked at the lack of E.A Poe and Lovecraft. Its not a list unless it has Cthulhu, baby...
Via Dodd and Pejamn
Saturday, May 08, 2004
They'll let Anyone In These Days
Thanks, Internet. You have always chosen the best people to be friends with. I wonder if he is still has the "ghetto sled".
Speaking of Naked Women
The SG's really have great hair. Even though I haven't cut my hair in about a year, I'm starting to feel the itch. Help me pick...
Example One.
Example Two
Example Three
Perhaps I'll just get bangs, razored with bright red and black. Just in case you didn't know, hair is an addiction. Its best not to start with the stuff. Nothing will ever be enough...
Damn
Yes, I'll probably go to this. Yes, I like men. I'm a fan based on jealousy only...
See you at Headliners.
I also want a sub. to this...
Van Helsing
I'll probably see it tonight, but Dodd didn't like it much. That being said, what is going on with Kate Beckingsdale, corsets and vampire movies? She seems to be doing lots of both lately, perhaps not as well as she would like, but that's another rant altogether. While Dodd is not much of a "horror fan", we ususally agree on science fiction/fantasy and I'm totally psyched about Chronicles of Riddick (which was Vin Diesel's best role, besides his suprisingly emotional turn in Iron Giant*). Anywho, I'll probably go see it this weekend, so I'll have a full review on Monday..
*- "Superman.."
Friday, May 07, 2004
Coke
Its funny to watch coke-heads tweak in the lobby.
"I Just Lost 50 Pounds if Five Minutes!! Thanks Nose Candy!!"
Oh the life of a Rock Jock....
Cool
Here is a neat soundboard. Its got some really good clips on it. You'll probably be hearing more of these on the show, especially when Mr. Ward wants to make the President look stupid. Be prepared to hear lots of slingblade...
Thursday, May 06, 2004
| | | |
Islamic Rage, Beee-otch!!!
Why is this funny (the term, I mean)...
The network said the tape came from a group dubbed The Islamic Rage Squadrons.
I have no idea
Islamic Rage!!! More like Islamic angst. Go shop at Hot Topic, listen to Marilyn Manson and write some bad poetry. O wait, those are the Surah's....(runs away)
Taking Bets
Ok, pop quiz. Who do you think will take the fall for this little story? My bet is on Rummy, although I wouldn't cry all that hard if he were let go anyways. He is kind of an anchor on the Republican ticket, in my opinion.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Movie Reviews
The Lepus movie site just keeps on commin' with this little ditty that got all the way up to #25 in 1972....
What movie is that a nod to? Give me the right answer and you'll have my admiration, at least for the next 5 minutes.
Derby and Misc.
Derby Recap
Working Derby always tends to zap the fun out of it. However, I saw lots of good (and not so good) plastic surgery, good/bad outfits and people who should have had their asses kicked for the hats that they wore simply for media attention. I only bet on two races, the 6th race and the Derby. The sixth race, I bet on the horse that placed to place, won six dollars. Then on the derby, I bet on the winner and the placer, both of those to win/place. The only problem is that I have to get down there to cash my tickets. Now, I don't want to pay to get into the Downs to cash my ticket. Does anyone know how this works. Its only about twenty dollars, but thats twenty dollars I didn't have yesterday.
Also, I saw in a trade magazine that a New York broadcasting company is looking for young conservatives in radio to start a young conservative talk station. If I get more info, I'm sending in a resume. Maybe they would put a libertarian on overnights.
Pictures from Iraq
I've heard every take on this story. Its-horrible-the-pictures-have-been-doctored-americans-will-die-for-this-typical-military-behavior/cruetly-why-was-a-woman-doing-that etc, etc.
Here at F*** Jeff we strive to find the humor in everything. Just look at the pictures. Its funny. The first time I saw the pictures, I laughed. Not because I was laughing at the pain of Iraqi's or the foolishness of the guards. No, I laughed because the pictures were funny. Just look. They are hysterical. I laughed my ass off when at the girl with the smoke pointing at the prisonsers. I have no reason or political agenda for laughing, I just found them to be exactly what they are. Goof-off photos at others expense. Doesn't look like anyone got hurt, except maybe some pride. I swear, I have seen some frat photos that looked a lot like these. I'm a sicko. This blog is worthless. Move along.....
