Tuesday, August 31, 2004
More Funny for your Buck
I don't get those, I only get the boring mortgage and perscription pain killer ones...
I get the sinking feeling that Raul may have posted this before, but here it goes again for good measure.
Very Funny
Please read these, but don't be in a situation where you will be looked at strangly if you screech in laughter.
Massive Movie Update
This next post will be done in Ali G format
Booyakasha! Check it! Dis be de bombest, illist update in da biz. Big up yourself!
Monday, August 30, 2004
Lazy?
Yep, thats me. Nothing really all that interesting has been going on. I'm up for grabbing a beer sometime this week, if anyone is interested. Sorry for the lack of social interaction, it kind of gets tied in with the whole lazy thing.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Note to the Music Industry
Was it truly necessary to remake "..At the Carwash" featuring Christina Aguilera and Missy Elliott?? Why was that a top priority? I'm just wondering
Thursday, August 19, 2004
The Siege
I see them every day, just beyond the parking lot. Sometimes, there are only a few. Scouting out the best attack points, I can only assume. Other days, between forty and fifty mingle on the field, trying to look innocent, picking at the grass. I'm on to them, you know. I know their fiendish plans, and they know I know. Today, they wandered onto the concrete of the parking lot, trying to stare me down with their bright button eyes. I will not break my vigilance. I will be the first to sound the alarm. When I hear the siege towers hit the side of the building, it will be time to fight for our freedom, way of life and our humanity. No one knows the true horrors that must lurk in their twisted minds. I must resist the urge to run. I must resist the urge to clean up their refuse. I must not try a lone attack. They may be smaller than I, but that doesn't make them any less dangerous....
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
He Had To Be Drunk
He just had to be. Victoria Bitters, baby!!!
Edit: Of course he was drunk, he's Australian!
"On leaving court on Tuesday he was asked if he had any advice for other competitors.
'Don't eat mice,' the Australian Associated Press quoted him as saying. "
Genius, pure genius.....
Bobby Fischer
I'm going out on a limb here, but let the poor man alone. Who did he kill? Who is really hurt here? The US Justice Dept. looks like a bunch of asses by persuing this as long as they have. Yeah, he's a crackpot, but he's also a genius in chess. Those two things go hand in hand if you ask me.
Get the F**k out of Here!!
Can't these people leave well enough alone. What, is this movie going to be one-liner after one-liner???
Sheesh
This computer can't run any slower. I suppose I have to wake up the hamster (on the wheel, that runs the computer.... nevermind). I'll post more when I'm at a more satisfying work station. Carry on...
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
| |Friday, August 06, 2004
The Prodigy
Yes, I'll admit it. I like the "Firestarter" song and "Smack My Bitch Up". The new single "Girls" is quite simply badass. Check it out at their website through Maverick Records. You can download it from there.
When You're a Four, You're a Four All The Way
I was re-reading my enneagram book last night, and much to my chagrin, I'm still a four. Fours are drama queens and fantasists that make up problems in their lives. I don't make up problems. SERIOUSLY, I DON'T!! Fours live in a fantasy world where they envy people with the traites that they want, and have a tendancy to become angry with people that they care about because they perceive them as "better" than themselves. Fours are prone to depression and failure because they can't get it out of their heads that they really aren't that special. Many fours have problems with authority because they believe that they are so "special" that the rules don't apply to them (that sounds a little like me, but not that much....SERIOUSLY! QUIT LAUGHING!) .
I'm really ashamed of being a four. Look at the fruitcakes that are considered fours! No diplomats, no thinkers, just artists and Dennis Rodman, plus the fact that my cultural aura is France. FRANCE!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I'M NOT MAKING UP THESE PROBLEMS, THE FACT THAT I'M A FOUR IS MY BIGGEST PROBLEM TO DATE!! Thats PLENTY of reasons to be depressed, don't you think??
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Bad Joke of the Year
"What do you get when you cross a pedo and a pirate?"
"AAAAAR Kelly"
LMAO!!
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Talent on Loan From God
Yes, she's a red-head and she's single. Plus she's one hell of an opera singer.
Past Few Day Round-up
1. Burrito's at Los Aztecas don't ever leave your stomach. Especially the "burrito especial".
2. Mike Ward can occasionally be funny. The national rep. for the communist party was in studio today. He must have picked his handlers up from the local homeless shelter. They spent the entire segment in my booth trying to convince me how nice Cuba is this time of year. Seriously, they looked like a mix between Tevia from Fiddler on the Roof, Zorba the Greek and Patches the Hobo. The fact that the communist party has a website is too funny. I suppose its the leftover riches that the USSR administration sent them. Woo-Hoo!! WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE!! THE COMMUNIST PARTY HAS AN ONLINE STORE!!!
3. Bachelorette gifts are plain embarrasing. What ever happened to getting sloppy drunk and just hanging out? I'm not going to participate in flash cards that say "show your boobs", "slap a bum" or "pecker inspector". I guess I'm the one turning into a prude.
4. I have no idea how to get to Columbus, OH. No freaking clue. I guess thats what AAA was invented for.
Carry on....
Bachelorette Blues
I don't have a clue what to get for my "christian" friend. Of course, I have been put in charge of the raunchy gifts. Aside from underwear and a dildo, I don't have any cute or creative ideas. HELP!!
