F*** Jeff Hostetler

Heh

Dodd would like this story, if he hasn't found it already.

I'm Hooked

Best New Show on TV
Its like the movie Best in Show except its real.

I about crapped myself when the dog trainer said of the gay couple.
"These guys have some serious post-partum. They really need to cut the cord with this puppy. Heck, I'll bet that Brandon still has stretch marks..."


Another good moment.
When Lordes was looking at her dogs sperm for artficial insemination. Earlier in the show she had been crying about not being able to have children. She calls her husband in to look at the swimming sperm.
I was thinking I'll bet she is going to ask him why her dog's sperm swims faster than her husbands.

After looking at the sperm, she starts bawling again.

The Chewbacca Defense Can't Help You Now

The Coffin Don't Fit! You Must Acquit!

*Drool*

I wish I could buy three-fourths of this site.

OMG, they have COSTUMES!!!

*flail

No More John Hughes Before Bed

I had a dream about a co-worker walking the streets in hot pink converse hightops and acid washed parachute pants and a members only leather jacket. Of course, he was being all angsty and had the whole new-wave hair thing going on.

Then I had a dream about these jokers playing Italian/Irish (yes, that was what they were going for) thrash metal. For some strange reason, they wanted me to sing Avri Lavign's "Complicated" live on stage.

I did it, but I don't think it was well received. I can't even command a good audience in my dreams...

Save the Kilt!

Come on, Cambridge. You really shouldn't piss off the Scots.

On a related note, its Posh and Becks, from THE UGLY/BIZARRO DIMENTION! What the hell is up with her face??

Poor Kid

Kevin Pittsnogle

"ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - (KRT) - Kevin Pittsnogle openly talks about growing up in a trailer park in Martinsburg, W. Va. His parents did not graduate from high school, and his girlfriend got pregnant before they were married.

But Pittsnogle is not a living, breathing hillbilly joke. And you can bet he's heard them all."

NO, IF YOU AREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO GET A DAMN CONDOM, THEN YOUR WHITE TRASH.

Never mind that his last name sounds like a Star Wars beast on par with a Nerf Hearder.

Don't Hate, Appreciate.

I have a problem. I can't stop wanting terrible, horrible things to happen to a certain person. Every time I see an article in LEO or The Courier where Jeffery Lee Pucket sucks his preverbial nutsack, I just imagine Seven-esqe things happening to this guy.

a) You were a fucking loser, ass-hat in college. The only reason you have anything is because your wife (whom I have no problem with what-so-ever) opened a fucking knitting store. It just so happened that the trend-o-matic made knitting cool.

b) You're a shitbag.

c) YOU AREN'T FUCKING COOL, EMO BOY!! PLEASE RUN REPEATEDLY INTO A BRICK WALL!!

That kind of rhetoric just isn't good for my karma.

Let it go, Lepus. Just let it go.

I'd like to let go a ton of brick on his fucking head...

Alton Brown Fandom

Very. F-ing. Scary.

I can just imagine the screaming fangirls for Alton.

*shudders*

ELO Album Cover Turtle

I didn't see Satan, but it looks like it should be on the cover of Brain Salad Surgery.

Yeah, Gieger rules...

edit: Its the Alien v. Predator turtle!!

edit two: TASTELESS T-SHIRT OF THE MOMENT.

"Why did you let her out of the well??"

There is an unmarked video tape sitting in the VCR in the production studio that I use.
Normally, I would pop it in, but I have seen the trailer to this movie.

I think I'll just let it sit.

Terri Schiavo and why I think she should live

"What??!!?" the masses scream "Lepus thinks someone should be allowed to live?"

Now before you heave your computer out the window because the world no longer makes sense, let me 'splain. No wait, let me sum up.

Pretend this is a felony murder case and Terri Schiavo is on trial for her life. Michael Schiavo only has "hearsay" that Terri said she wanted to die. Here is the Burdon of Proof that Michael Schiavo has to go up against.

* Beyond a reasonable doubt (criminal cases)--for a criminal defendant to be convicted of a crime, the prosecutor must prove her case to the point that the jurors have no reasonable doubts in their minds that the defendant did whatever he is charged with having done.

*from LectLaw.com
This is my point, without a document stating her wishes, there is no way that A JURY would allow Terri Schiavo to die.

The case, isn't left up to a jury.

Judges Perogative sometimes is a fickle thing. In my mind I keep questioning the motives of Terri Schiavo's parents, Michael Schiavo, The Judge and the many Doctors that can't seem to come to a decision on this woman brain. In my opinion, everyone in this fight seems to have an agenda that they are trying to push. Right to Life, Right to Death, Parents v. Spouse rights, End of Life Decisions, Judiciary v. Legislature. The list goes on and on.

I hate to say it, but I agree with Newt Gingrich. Its better, at least in my mind, that the judge leans towards the side of life in THIS CASE. All this talk about presedence is silly. Its not like the courts are going to storm hospices, pulling plugs left and right. This is a buzz issue, and a chance for Bush to flex his concervative muscle.

Please, just don't flex it towards me.

Ugh

Spring has sprung all over my ass in the form of serious allergy attacks.

Went to the Dog Show this weekend. OMG CUTE!! I had my mind changed about a dog breed that I was ready to dismiss and not consider for a pet. My buddy and I saw a King Charles Cavalier puppy and the owner wanted to socialize him so he let us pet him. What a doll!! Very sweet and very quiet. Never mind the fact that these dogs cost upwards of one thousand dollars. Thats a lot of money. BUT, they are really cute and really sweet.

The Chihuahua's were adorable, of course, as well as the Irish wolfhounds, Basenjis and Corgi's. I really liked the Scottish Deerhounds, too.

Too many cute fuzzy things to mention.

Hey Stoopid

Don't make me get all up in your grill, computer.

*Honey, Hush!*

I'm going to start incorporating more phrases from Smokey and the Bandit into my everyday life.

I'm not going to stoop to this level

Yes, I have a dirty internet obsession. Yes, I'm trying to keep the specifics of this DIO to myself and others that share these disgusting proclivities.

However, I would not go this far, although I have thought about it.

Raul, post those damn pictures.

St. Patty's was GOOOOOOD. The Corned Beef and Cabbage rawked the house. Sean Thornton was himself. When Sheriff Buford T. Justice gets home, he is going to punch your mama in the mouth.

A good day.

Its not that strange!

I haven't seen Blood Simple either, although I have wanted to. I DID see The Ladykillers, which I can already tell was not as good as BS is going to be.

Truth in Advertising

"This album is so good, it will make you crap your pants..."

At least that is what one review said. I picked it up on a whim at the x-tacy.
I didn't have to change my drawers, but its pretty damn good. Christopher Cross has never sounded so good. Add into that fact that if the chorus of a smooth dance number is "...it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again", then its a safe bet that I'll like it.

New Feature

I'm going to start putting funny websites on here for you viewing pleasure. If you can think of any more, please let me know.

Sometimes Its Worth It

Sometimes its almost worth the bad pay and lousy hours to hear the guy you "work for" say something like this:

"That goddamn mother-fucking liar. O wait, It was great that we had Bush come to town"

Tee Hee.

Nerd

Ok, look at this headline and don't read the article.

I'm I a nerd because I thought of Gambit?
I think so...

edit: Apon reading the article:
"According to a police witness during the trial, Galan always said hello to his victims and asked them if they could "please" kneel down before he shot them, as he thought "politeness is most important in life", El Mundo newspaper reported."


OOO-KAY....

No Duh

We all knew this.

Dear JK Rowling

Don't you dare kill off my dirty internet obsession, who I will not discuss here. Just don't even think about it, its not right.
By the way, here is the Adult Cover for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

"Advanced Potion Making"

Hmmmm, Advanced Potion Making....
(allow me to slip into my fangirl self)

*SQUEEEEE!!!FAWN!!!!SQUEEE!!

(disrobes fangirl self)

Now, back to life...

Wagg's will like this

*smirk*


Shameless yoinked from LJ

Get Your Digital Camera's Ready!!

GWB is going to be in our little burg on March 10th. I'm skimming the local "Progressive" websites to find out if there will be protests. If there will be, I'm going to go and perhaps push my own agenda of issues.

Where does the President stand on these important points?

: Social Security for Ninjas
: Jack Sparrow: The Greatest Pirate in the World?
: Homeland Security: Where does Bazooka fit in?
: Where is my Mars Volta CD?
: How does my Ipod work?


WE MUST HAVE THE ANSWER!

Yet another reason why I'm 10 kinds of BORED with American Culture

The fact that someone would spend upwards of 50 clams on a jersey is beyond me, but hey, thats the wonders of the free market. This list, on the other hand, provided me with at least 10 minutes of comedy. Reminds me of Dirty Word Day in Human Sexuality Class. Thanks Dr. Osborne!!

What the Hell: "GOT JESUS" is considered dirty???

Thanks Wonkette

"Hey Pot. Kettle is on the Phone for you...."

Wow.

Maybe if he had said "Zombie Crack Whore From the Bowels of Hell" it would have been more accurate.

Dream Blog

I had a dream the other night that I was a middle aged naturalist in South Africa.
I looked alot like a "Terms of Endearment" era Debra Winger. I was in some sort of weird love triangle with a guy that looked liked a very young Michael Gambon and Djimon Hounson. There was all the Jane Flossey type stuff going on, then in the middle of the mountainous jungle was a giant water slide/water park. There was also some sort of battle going on between the local dog population and some sort of weird lemur looking thing.

The house that I lived in was some sort of Frank Lloyd Wright stone monstrosity complete with a weird roomate that ate box after box of pizza and looked like Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

To top all this weirdness off, the main complaint between Gambon-ish guy and Hounson-ish guy had to do with riding the big water slide in the middle of the jungle.
Gambon-ish was having fun, but Hounson-ish was all prickly about the water slide. This is how I made my tearful decision, all the while wearing a khaki safari outfit complete with knee socks, hat and cargo wear. I looked like an extra from Daktari.

Hey Rhino..

Supposedly, this guy is local. Don't let the url scare you...

Thanks Mojo.

Bumper Sticker Boogie

*At the gas station this morning, getting coffee and granola bar*

"Republicans for Voldemort"

The fact that I get the joke and the fact that it was on a mini-van, makes it that much more sad.